So Drives The World Away - a made up tour diary.

Day One - Big Face

Apparently I'm allergic to the Arts section in the New York Times. Having successfully driven through Philadelphia to our hotel (ultimate 'success' being measured by how many stray people we could clip in our careering Town & Country) I had finally put my feet up, and was stroking an image of Malcolm Gladwell. In an instant, my whole face began to tingle and swell. It was upsetting; the image of Malcolm's soothing face and hair was slowly blurring, and finally his kind features disappeared as my eyes closed over. Now in the pitch black of anaphylactic shock, I thought to myself, "That's the last time I wistfully stroke an article in a broadsheet newspaper". And though I said it out loud, I knew I didn't mean it.